Do you also know multiple people in your circles battling an enlarged prostate gland?
It should tell you how much trouble is out there, when it comes to sex and marriages. Not that I am trying to trivialize a grave health issue affecting an increasing number of men especially in the 40-plus age bracket, but an enlarged prostate gland’s effect on a man’s sexual functionality and ability to sire children seems to give many men sleepless nights; leave alone the fear of it turning cancerous.
Among the cases of a failing or non-existent sex in marriages that I get to hear of these days, there is a worrying trend; while it used to be about men complaining about their wives being uninterested in sex and making husbands beg for it, there is a new monster in town. It is now women who are complaining about their husbands becoming impotent or chronic ‘beepers’ (premature ejaculators), among the litany of complaints.
It should also explain the growing ‘cougar’ tendencies even among Ugandan women; when they have grappled with men 45-plus, with their ‘sputtering engines’, ‘faulty spark plugs’ and all, they are likely to seek solace from much younger men or toyboys, to avoid jumping from the pot and into the fire – seeing how big a problem this prostate thing is becoming.
Recently the minister of Health was reported saying testing for enlarged prostate gland and prostate cancer are going to be made mandatory for men above 45 years. The ministry must be really getting ugly statistics. On the silent side are the wives quietly tending to their sick husbands, but also worried about their sex needs.
“I am at my wits end,” one wife with a husband with an enlarged prostate warned friends recently. “Now he just cannot get it up at all, and it has been eight months. Surely, I am also only human!”
This particular wife, several years younger than her husband, is threatening to explore her opportunities elsewhere. No amount of dissuasion from her friends seemed to get through to her.
She complained about the lack of sleep because of her husband’s frequent trips to the toilet in the night, the poor aim into the toilet that he has developed because of the complication, and the horrible stench of his urine, because of how long it stays in the bladder.
“I feel this is not the marriage I signed up for, especially since he is opposed to a surgical solution,” she said.
But many men battling enlarged prostates are firmly against surgery, mainly because of the side effects. Some side effects are gradually reversible, such as erectile dysfunctions and incontinence, but others, such as the inability to get one’s wife pregnant through sexual intercourse, are permanent.
As a result, some have dedicated time and resources to litres and litres of herbal remedies, but there are also reportedly very effective tablets your urologist can prescribe to alleviate most symptoms of an enlarged prostate, especially if it is not cancerous and you are not yet sold on getting a prostatectomy.
First things first: go get yourself tested. I have been told there is now advanced testing technology by scanning, but again, in the course of your treatment, you will not avoid the urologist’s fingers going up your rectum for examination.
I have heard many men freak out at the prospect of enduring that invasive testing method, but look, you stand to lose and suffer more if the complication is not caught early. So, man up, take a test and save yourself and you sex life.